Tying rocks to your ankles,
"I'm going to find a new world,
under the ocean."
I guess you must be enjoying
I haven't seen you since.
one time when my dad was in college these guys found a carpet on the sidewalk and they needed furniture for their dorm so they were like “hell yeah free carpet” and they carried the carpet upstairs and it was really wet and heavy so they unrolled it to let it dry and a dead body fell out
I’M NOT SHITTING YOU
I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
*ron weasley voice* viktor krum?? nah what a jerk what a— [trips] [hundreds of photos of viktor krum spill out of jacket] w-what a fuckign asshole i these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] listen i just listen fuck [thousands of pictures of viktor krum scatter across the floor] shit fcuk im holding them for a friend just listen
The premise of minimum wage, when it was introduced, was that a single wage earner should be able to own a home and support a family. That was what it was based on; a full time job, any job, should be able to accomplish this.
The fact people scoff at this idea if presented nowadays, as though the people that ring up your groceries or hand you your burgers don’t deserve the luxury of a home and a family, is disgusting.